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Writer's pictureChewe

Here's Why It's Raining and I Hate It

No one has ever called me a believer, so when it came time to learn about the "water cycle", consider me a heathen. You expect me to believe that rain isn't God crying or angels spitting? Are you mad? How many marbles do you have left?


Well I am. Mad that is. In the emotional way at least. It's been a while since I've been shaken to my core. The last time I was this shooketh was when I found out Gary Oldman was both Commissioner Gordan AND Serious Black. I feel like as a generation, we've all experienced that moment when you realize that Dracula is also Sid Vicious is also Winston Churchill is also Zorg, and so on.


Anyways, I know what you're thinking. "Wasn't the water cycle like an entire unit in 3rd grade Science class, Middle School Geology, High School Physics, and probably a weekly show on PBS?" And I say, "yeah... but what about free will, man? Don't I have the right to believe what I want? Can't I be an individual in a society built on class norms and fitting in rather than sticking out?" Watch that Apple commercial from 1984, the year of our lord George Orwell. They got it right. I'm going to be that pole vaulter/shot putter hybrid in Nazi Germany and break through the computer screen and bend your mind like a spoon in the Matrix.


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Update:

So I googled it. Here's what I've learned from a very short few minutes of research, and I have to say, good job Earth for doing your thing and cleaning up after yourself! It's amazing what you do and I'm thankful you're my mother. Look at these beautiful diagrams depicting how some good ol' high quality H2O helps sustain us by being all things to everyone. You go water!


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